Bitch

Stop it

I don't know how you just show up occasionally and make me really happy, but don't because it's just going to end stupid.

♥chemplur?

anyone lived in a pretty how town
e.e. cummings
anyone lived in a pretty how town
(with up so floating many bells down)
spring summer autumn winter
he sang his didn't he danced his did.

women and men (both little and small)
cared for anyone not at all
they sowed their isn't they reaped their same
sun moon stars rain

children guessed (but only a few
and down they forgot as up they grew
autumn winter spring summer)
that noone loved him more by more

when by now and tree by leaf
she laughed his joy she cried his grief
bird by snow and stir by still
anyone's any was all to her

someones married their everyones
laughed their cryings and did their dance
(sleep wake hope and then) they
said their nevers they slept their dream

stars rain sun moon
(and only the snow can begin to explain
how children are apt to forget to remember
with up so floating many bells down)

one day anyone died i guess
(and noone stooped to kiss his face)
busy folk buried them side by side
little by little and was by was

all by all and deep by deep
and more by more they dream their sleep
noone and anyone earth by april
wish by spirit and if by yes.

women and men (both dong and ding)
summer autumn winter spring
reaped their sowing and went their came
sun moon stars rain

I hope you read this

Because I only go out to do stupid shit when you ask me to. Do you think I genuinely care about half the things I do with you?

It gets out of hand when I start talking to people in the second person but god damn it, I was enjoying my time with my friends and then you had to go and want to leave again. That was all fine and well but look how that ended up, me staring down the barrel of a loaded ticket. You're clingy, and I don't know what you want from me, but I'm sincerely angry I let bad ideas entice me to do stupid things.

I really hope you read this, because I'm in a lot of topsy turvy moods, most of which stem from you.

How do you tell good news to someone....

...when it's actually bad news to the person in question. Leave my brain be, I have enough trouble with it as it is. Stay out, government property, etc. etc.

Man these are weird times.

How to get a girl back

Yeah?

Snarfblat

The dude knows how the world works

Oh yeah, before I forget

Fuck you

This is how it's done

Up all night. As usual. Not too usual though, lately sleep has been happening, a welcome change. Not tonight though. The heeby jeebies of a Halloween just passed must be what's keeping me awake tonight. In typical fashion, awake in the middle of the night equates to a new blog posting.

Been feeling like I get nothing done these days, I'm always thinking of at least 100 things at once, and none of the goals, much less the pertinent or important ones, get done. Just a perpetual, meandering pace back and forth over the same thoughts, the same feelings, with the same results. It doesn't surprise me then that indeed I am receiving the same results of zero. It's hard to keep doing things when the only way you know how to accomplish those things ceases to work. I sort out most everything by looking at it 100 different ways, trying to shed as much light on the item at hand as possible. But basically everything now seems to slip through the sieve my methodology of thought used catch things in. Yeah, super vague, but this isn't here to make sense to anybody but me. A chronicling of my thoughts and all of that jazz, therapeutic to look back at if nothing else, to see how far I've come.

I've been trying a lot of new things, begrudgingly albeit. To be honest, I'm falling to the wayside, and just letting events happen, and blindly agreeing to everything. I figure everything I don't see or do could have been something great, and so I just wander through it all. I always think I can't possibly lose in doing so, but as luck would have it, yeah, I can sort of lose a lot, more than a lot, really. Literally, I'm constantly divided between being Adam the recluse, and being Adam the guy who has friends. It's really frustrating these two egos are mutually exclusive, it'd be swell if the recluse could have friends, but that's just the nature of the beast. Can't get it all by hiding from the outside world. As I say that, I'm thinking I almost got something valuable by not going outside, but for one that's yet to be seen, and two it's more than likely the classic thought process amping up something miniscule and meaningless to large proportions.

Expect more shitty poetry, that's just one of those things I do now.

I like being alone but I'm scared of being alone, what an ornery fuck I am.